


Set Aflame

by LordBeanSprout



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Hanzo is not okay, Hanzo is tired, Hurt/Comfort, I swear there's gonna be fluff somewhere, M/M, McCree and Genji bff, McCree and Pharah are like siblings, McCree is confused, McCree is tired, McCree's excessive smoking, More pairings to be added as the story progresses, Multi, Noodle Dragons, Protective Genji, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, and humor too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-10-02 17:59:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10223918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordBeanSprout/pseuds/LordBeanSprout
Summary: After answering the Overwatch agent recall, Jesse McCree packs up his cowboy gears and heads toward Watchpoint: Gibraltar. As the old agents and new recruits joins their rank, Jesse finds himself captivated by one Hanzo Shimada; archer, assassin, former heir to the Shimada crime empire. Though a certain cyborg is not too happy by Jesse's interest in Hanzo.





	1. Promise

There is a beauty to behold in every corner of the world, and Jesse McCree has travelled far and wide to disprove that. There are good things, sure, but after being on both sides of the coin, it was getting easier to ignore the façade and pick out the negative side of things. Ignorance, and the bliss that comes with it is a thing to be envied for Jesse. He grew up in a time of war, and there was little he could do to retain a childlike innocence for long. He grew up too fast, was what Reyes had told him. A pity, in his opinion, everyone deserves the basic right for a peaceful childhood.

Maybe that is why he fought so hard. Maybe that is why he answered the recall.

To give someone, somewhere a chance to something he was denied.

Standing by the open training ground, overlooking the mountain range of Gibraltar, Jesse stood there chewing on his cigarillo. He had just arrived at the newly opened base yesterday evening, and after being forced to sort out his paperwork all morning, he finally had a chance to re-acquaintance himself to the area.

“I heard Genji’s coming back today.”

The cowboy turned and is immediately greeted by a familiar face, beaming at him.

“Hey there, Ange.” He returned the smile. His heart soars at the notion of seeing his friends again, but it also sank at the constant reminder that some won’t be coming back.

“What are you doing out here?” Angela eyed his revolver – Peacekeeper, still holstered at his side. Clearly the man isn’t here to train.

”Oh, you know, just walking around thinking about the old days and all that stuff.”

“You haven’t changed much.”

“I wouldn’t say that darlin’. I’d say I age like a fine wine.” He wiggles his eyebrow for emphasis and it drew a chuckle from the doctor.

“You still keep your hat.”

“Yeap.” He tips his head.

“Still smoking that vile thing despite my chiding.”

“Right.”

“And that abhorrent belt buckle.”

“Now wait just a darn second-”

Angela shakes her head and smiles fondly all the while Jesse started to ramble about the significance of his belt. Even though the man she saw before him is no longer the same boy she grew up with, he is still Jesse, the unapologetic cowboy enthusiast. There are just things that can’t be changed no matter what, the doctor muses. If Gabriel and Jack’s combined effort of stopping Jesse’s shenanigans didn’t work, nothing ever will.

“-so anyway, you said Genji’s coming back today?”

“Ah, yes. It seems he will also be bringing along his mentor, and his brother.”

Jesse blinked at the last part.

“His brother? Ya mean the one that tried ta murder him, that exact same brother?” Jesse looks at the blond woman incredulously.

“Well, according to his letter, yes.”

“Well I’ll be damned.”

Silence falls as Jesse chew on his cigarillo, watching the swirling smoke dancing in the wind. His brown eyes, trained to notice the smallest of things pick up on the doctor’s fidgeting. She looks fine before the mention of Genji’s brother, but clearly it is bothering the Swiss. After all, Angela was the one who knows the extent of what the older Shimada had done to his sibling –all the details that was lost to mundane eyes, that could only be described as a mess of red. While Angela knows the physical damages, Jesse is only familiar to the rage that is inside the younger Shimada. He doesn’t know how he feels about the elder Shimada joining their rank.

“We’ll see how it goes, Angie. I’m sure it’d be just peachy.”

To be completely honest with himself, Jesse could feel that age has caught up with him. Maybe that is what happens to people whose fire burns too bright. It also means that it will go out just as fast. His life is never uneventful, but it doesn’t mean that it is not a tiring one.

“Come on Jesse, let’s go back inside –And no smoking indoor!” Angela gives him a playful whack, before turning and heading back inside the base followed by a chuckling cowboy.

“Yes, ma’am.”

There are lots of things Jesse misses when he was living the vigilante life, but for the most part, it is his family. This family.

…

Clock ticks slowly as Jesse wander the halls of the watchpoint, counting new scrapes and dents on the walls. ‘Winston must have been real busy with his science projects.’ Absently humming to an old tune, Jesse almost missed the familiar hum of a large engine. His mind snaps back into gear, and he sprints his way to the drop-ship’s launch pad. He caught it just in time for the ship’s hydraulic door to open.

In that moment, a few things happened in a flash, and from what the cowboy brain could register, he separate it into three parts;

A blur of green.

The clear sky.

And a pain shooting up his back.

Jesse McCree with his whole thirty-seven-year-old-cowboy-glory has fallen flat on the ground –and by God he knew the culprit.

“Genji!”

Jesse’s brown eyes light up and was immediately met with a glowing green visor, and a robotic voice snickering.

“It’s nice to see you again, Jesse.”

A hand is extended to the cowboy, and he took it, pulls himself back up. Now that Jesse was back to an upright position he could finally see the other two staring at him behind the cyborg. One is an omnic, cross-legged, levitating with orbs floating around his neck with a serene looking faceplate, ‘must be that master of his’. Which means the other man, standing stiffly furthest from Genji, is the infamous brother.

Shimada Hanzo.

The murderer of kin, the one Genji has sworn to kill in his early days as cyborg, and the one Genji has since forgiven.

“Jesse! Come meet my master, Tekharta Zenyatta!” The man was yanked from his thought, by a cheerful voice of the younger man.

“Peace be upon you.” Zenyatta raised his hand in greeting, voice as serene as his countenance.

“Howdy! Name’s McCree, Jesse McCree.”

He gave the omnic a tip of hat, but his attention quickly settled back to the man still standing behind.

“Ah, and that’s my brother, Hanzo.”

“Pleased to meet you.”

Jesse gives Hanzo a smile and a brief nod. Hanzo returned the nod, with a gruff “Hello.”

Jesse takes the brief exchange to finally look at Hanzo properly. The older Shimada doesn’t look exactly like the picture Genji showed him. He still possesses the same facial feature, the strong jaw and high cheekbone, the same dark hair –though now tied in a bun and shorn at the sides. But his eyes, once sharp, determined, and proud are now full of uncertainty. He looks tired, Jesse notices. The same withered look Jesse saw in the mirror each morning, the very same look of a man who has been running away from his demons for far too long. Despite it all, he still possesses the regal quality befitting of a crime lord. He is, in a word, captivating.

“Jesse, you’re staring.”

Oh crap.

“Sorry, darlin’.” Jesse cleared his throat, as he felt his face heats up. “Must’ve spaced out fer a bit there.”

The younger of the Shimada brothers tilts his head, but refrain from commenting. Still, Jesse could practically hear the gears in his head turning trying to analyze the cowboy’s behavior. Jesse dared himself to cast a glance at Hanzo, hoping that this time, his eyes won’t stick for too long. The older Shimada is now frowning, clearly uncomfortable under the man’s gaze. Well, the floor is just as interesting anyway, so he dropped his brown eyes to the ground and stared at the pebbles below.

“The sun is setting soon, we should get inside.” The cyborg’s voice is now tinted with amusement, for what, Jesse dreaded to know.

“Well, you lot must be darn right tuckered out. Don’t worry, this ol’ dog would get out of yer hair, and let you hit the hay now. And welcome to the family, Hanzo, Zen-”

“Zenyatta.” Genji supplied helpfully.

“Sorry, right. Zenyatta.”

“Thank you, Mister McCree.”

“Just McCree’s fine.” He flashed the omnic his biggest grin. It has been a while since someone was so polite to him.

“We’ll see you at dinner, Jesse.” Genji gives the man a little wave.

Jesse returns the gesture, and watches them as they departed into the building. His brown eyes, fixed on the retreating form of the older Shimada and he thanked whatever deity watching over him that the man doesn’t look back.

The sun has started to set, the sky is tinged with orange glow and the sea breeze is definitely a welcomed addition. Jesse decides to stay out here for a while. Maybe it will even help clear his head. He lit up a cigarillo to replace the one Genji knocked from him. He took a deep breath and as he watches the smoke dances in the wind. He couldn’t help his mind from wondering back to a particular man. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t have half a mind to berate him for what he had done to Genji. At least get in a punch or two. Yet, upon seeing the man up close, Jesse just can’t bring himself to do so. Not after he sees regret a little to familiar in Hanzo’s eyes. The way he stood away in his lonesome, as if uncomfortable to be near his brother.

‘Or maybe it’s this place, where he’s surrounded by folks who know what he had gon’ and done.’ Jesse knew it all too well. The same song and dance he experienced in the past. When his sorry ass was dragged –saved from the hellhole.

A metal hand finds its way to the cowboy’s shoulder, startling the poor man.

“Shit! Genji!”

“Hello again, Jesse.”

“Ya gotta give my poor ol’ heart a break and quit sneaking up on me like that.”

He got a chuckle out of the cyborg, while he feigns annoyance while stomping out his dropped cigar. He’s gonna get Genji to buy him a new pack if this keeps on going.

“I figured I should give you a proper greeting after so long.”

“Yeah? Ya figured knockin’ me down on my ass ain’t enough-”

“I saw you looking at my brother.”

Oh. Crap.

Jesse half expected for the cyborg ninja to threaten him right there and then, and his fear was doubled when Genji pulls out his wakizashi. He was sure that his throat is about to be slit. Then he heard the click of Genji’s faceplate opening, and a slicing sound. Only, his head is still attached to his neck.

The bastard is eating an apple.

“Fuckin’ hell Genji, what in tarnation-”

“What? The trip makes me hungry.” The younger man popped a piece of the fruit into his mouth.

Well, at least Genji’s not gonna murder him.

“Now about my brother. What is your intention with him?”

“Whoa, hey. Ain’t ever seen the man before today. I don’t know what you’re talking bout pardner!”

Genji looks deadpanned.

“I’ve been there, I know the look, Jesse McCree.” The cyborg is now boring his eyes right into his soul. ”And I know the amount of hearts you’ve broken in the past”

“Hey, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I ain’t never play around like that.” Jesse feels offended by his accusation, frowning at the shorter man. He might have had a few flings in the past, but nothing serious. Oh. Oh!

“I’m your best friend Jesse, but you’re still gonna get an ass kicking if you hurt my brother.”

“Alright, alright, hold your horses. I won’t do anything, haven’t even really spoken to the guy yet. Jesus, Gen!”

The cowboy sighed, his hands raised in front of him in mock surrender. He certainly has not pegged the ninja as the protective kinda brother. But Jesse McCree is a respectable man. If his friend tells him that someone is off limit, they can rest assured that this cowboy ain’t gonna lay a pretty finger on that fella.

“Hanzo –my brother, he’s in a rough spot.”

“Hey, hey. I don’t need no excuses. I get it, darlin’ what happened in Hanamura, stays in Hanamura. Ain’t no need for this ol’ cowboy to meddle.”

Genji pops the last of the apple and chews on it silently, watching Jesse with critical eyes. The scars littering his face made him look older, but his eyes soften when he feels that Jesse is clear about his warning.

“Still throwing the pet names around I see.” Genji smiles at the man and re-sheathes his wakizashi, finally breaking the tension.

“Oh you know me, I’m both a fighter and a lover.”

Well, that certainly turns Genji’s smile upside down.

“Shit.”

“Just- keep it in your pants, Jesse.” Genji shakes his head, exasperated at his friend. “Please.”

With another tap to the cowboy’s shoulder, he places his faceplate back on and left the man to smoke in peace.

Jesse huffs at the retreating Shimada. He certainly wouldn’t want to mess in the middle of whatever issue the dragon brothers have. As the sun finally sets and the night grows colder, Jesse folded his arms in the warmth of his serape and heads back into the watchpoint building. Genji’s voice is still drumming in his head. He did promise the ninja to not make a move on his brother, but little does he know that it might just be the hardest thing he has ever done.


	2. One Dragon, Two Dragons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God! I did not expect this fic to have such a great reception! I’m so happy you guys like the protective little Shimada! Thank you so much!

...

 

A few days has passed since the arrival of Zenyatta and the Shimada brothers. Fresh new faces began to pour into the old base. The common room fills with chatter and the dark corridors fill with warmth. It almost felt like the good old days, minus the bickering of two stubborn men Jesse refuses to think about. Instead, he chose to pace the halls, walking around taking in the sights grounds him to reality and away from his past.

 

Jesse keeps reminding himself; it’s a brand new Overwatch. Smaller, a little bit soft around the edges, but it’s still good, maybe even better than the old team.

 

Jesse passes by the kitchen and heard a booming laughter echoing around the corner. Reinhardt, possibly having a friendly banter with Torbjorn, judging by the gruff Swedish curses. When he entered the common room, music is in the air littered with little pings from a handheld video game device; Hana and Lucio. They are both new recruits in their ranks, young and eager to help better the world. A twinge of pain presented itself, as the cowboy looks at Hana, laying on the couch playing on her handheld. According to her file, she is just nineteen, not much older than when Jesse had first joined Blackwatch. But it is still too young an age for anyone to have been decorated by the army.

 

He sighed and moved on.

 

Out on the balcony, he could see Genji and Zenyatta peacefully meditating. A little smile graces the cowboys lips as he hums a little tune he knows by heart.

 

He keeps on walking and taking stock of the people currently in the base.

 

Fareeha must be in the clinic with Angela, she hasn’t left her girlfriend’s side since she arrived fully armored on watchpoint ground. Jesse thinks of her as a little sister, and felt his heart filled with pride upon seeing what a great soldier she has grown up to be.

 

Jesse bumped into Winston and Lena. The scientist and the Brit gave him a quick hello and continued their conversation, something about time devices and what-not.

 

The base is slowly but surely coming back to life. But Jesse’s face pulls into a frown upon realizing that something is missing. No, _someone_ is missing.

 

Where is Hanzo?

 

Thinking back on the pass few days, Jesse hasn’t seen much of the older Shimada. He seems like a man that likes to keep to himself, and Jesse could respect that. But it felt odd to have someone who’s technically part of the team yet simultaneously secluded himself from the rest of them.

 

Spurs jiggling as he picks up his pace into the agents’ living quarter, and stopped abruptly when Jesse realizes that he does not know which one belongs to the older Shimada.

 

Genji would know.

 

Genji would also castrate him if he tries to ask.

 

And Jesse would prefer to have his family jewels intact, thank you very much.

 

“Why is this so goddamn difficult.” He grumbles to himself as he decides to just walk to his room. That is until he heard a crashing noise followed by a muffled cry came from one of the rooms.

 

_‘Found it.’_

Slowly, Jesse approached the closed door contemplating if he should check on the man. Hanzo is a private man and Jesse wouldn’t want to intrude on whatever the man is doing in his private quarter. Then, there is another crash and Jesse’s concern grows. He raised his fist to the door and gave a tentative knock.

 

“You okay in there, pardner?”

 

_CRASH!_

“I’m _fine_.” Hanzo’s voice comes through the door, sounding somewhat strained.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Jesse winces as there is a dull thud and a yelp came from the man.

 

“Yes. Thank you for your concern!” Followed by a string of angry Japanese.

 

What in the fresh hell is happening in there?

 

Jesse is considering to try and open the door when said door just bursts open and he received a full bodied tackle from one very disheveled looking Hanzo Shimada.

 

“ _Kuso!”_

 

He caught the man before they both tumble down the floor, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw two glowing streaks of blue turning the corner.

 

_‘What in tarnation?’_

His eyes must be deceiving him, because Jesse could have sworn that those things looks like a- “Ahem.” Jesse looks down and realizes that he is still holding Hanzo. His long hair swept to the side instead of neatly tied in a bun, very different from the first time Jesse saw him, but still a good look. Better, even. Is that a blush on his cheek?

 

“I can stand on my own. Let go of me!”

 

Jesse felt his face heats up, and immediately do as he is told.

 

Hanzo is now scowling at him.

 

“Was that- Are those?” The cowboy stuttered under the smaller man’s hard gaze.

 

“My dragons.”

 

The older man averted his eyes, as if embarrassed at the whole situation. A quick glance at Hanzo’s room he could tell that the man is having trouble with his dragons, even though it is a weird ass problem to have a dragon let alone two in the first place. Jesse has seen Genji in battle, and he decided not to question the Shimada spirit mumbo jumbo too much.

 

“I can help you go find them if ya like.”

 

He offers without thinking. In hindsight it might be for the best, since he assumes that Hanzo barely left his room during this few days, and the watch point is massive.

 

Hanzo quirks an eyebrow at Jesse and gives a halfhearted snort.

 

“Thank you, but only a Shimada can control the dragons.”

 

“Well, I figured to give it a try since it seems that you’ve lost control of your dragon, Shimada-san.”

 

If a flash of shock did appear on Hanzo’s face, it is now firmly replaced by a murderous glare towards the cowboy, eyes aflame, teeth bared, and nostril flaring.

 

_‘Now, there’s a dragon.’_

“I’m sorry.”

 

Hanzo turned towards the direction of where his dragon ran, leaving the cowboy behind.

 

Jesse decided against following the man, and dread fills his big cowboy heart. Jesse tried to be cheeky, he shouldn’t have. The cowboy really didn’t mean to get off on a bad start with the older Shimada –Hell, he was even trying to befriend him! Sure, Genji did say that the man is off-limit, but it doesn’t mean that he should be put in isolation.

 

Jesse sigh, he closes the door to Hanzo’s room since the man has stormed off leaving it showing the carnage the dragons have left behind, and walk towards his own. His steps a tad heavier, and eyes a bit sadder.

 

Maybe a soak in the bath will help lifts his spirit.

 

As soon as he closed his door behind him, Jesse strips himself piece by piece and silently curses himself for having so many layers on. Clothing pieces haphazardly discarded on the floor, leaving a messy trail from his door to his bathroom. He needs to pick those up later, and also his laundry is starting to pile up. _God, he absolutely loathes doing laundry._ But anything is a welcomed distraction to his mind, even laundry. He doesn’t need a haunting reminder of his earlier fuck up.

 

Whistling a familiar tune, he slid into the privacy of his own bath.

 

…

 

Hanzo Shimada is a man who keeps to himself. That much hasn’t change with the passing of time, though some would say it gets even worse with how the man wallow in his own journey of self pity and redemption. What Genji did not expect is Hanzo roaming the watchpoint looking into every nooks and corners, looking disheveled. The younger Shimada watches with guilty amusement at his brother’s distress. Thankfully the other has left the common room and the brothers are the only two there at the moment, each doing their own things.

 

Genji is feeling particularly lazy as he watches Hanzo pacing the room. ‘ _At least he’s not locking himself in his room anymore.’_ He muses. Should he help? Maybe he would, if Hanzo asks him nicely. For now, he is content with laying about the couch munching on his chips obnoxiously. Even Genji could enjoy a post-meditation snack, and he misses junk food dearly as he didn’t get any during his stay in the Shambali monastery. The cyborg reminds himself to thank Hana for keeping the base snack supply stocked.

 

“Are you going to help or not?”

 

_Finally._

 

Genji spares his brother a playful smirk.

 

“Help with what?”

 

“I-” Hanzo stops himself as he considers if he should tell Genji that he has in fact lost his dragons.

 

_Dishonor._

 

“Nevermind.” He bristles pass the couch and heads to the other room.

 

Now that finally makes Genji feels guilty, and he jumps off the couch tailing his brother. He shouldn’t have tried to tease his brother, he’s still not entirely sure of the level of comfort between them. But he tries, he really does.

 

“Hey, Hanzo! Wait!”

 

Hanzo ignores the cyborg and keeps walking.

 

_“Anija!”_

 

He frowned at the familiar word, and also how could such a simple thing hurt him.

 

_“Anija, please.”_

 

Hanzo stopped in his track, almost making Genji bumped into him, if not for his enhanced reflexes.

 

“What is it Hanzo?”

 

“I lost my dragons.” The older Shimada looks defeated. Genji is so used to see his brother with his head held up high, a proper, proud Shimada heir, that seeing Hanzo now stands before him, head hanging low, shame weighing down his posture, It just doesn’t feels right.

 

“What do you mean?” The younger man looks at his brother, concerned.

 

“They’ve been restless since I got here, and this morning they took their corporeal form. I accidentally let them escape.”

 

_‘Oh damn, those dragons can be hard to find if they don’t want to be found.’_

“And I wouldn’t have lost them if the cowboy hadn’t stalled me.”

 

“ _Who_ what now?”

 

…

 

Jesse is confused. He swears he left the thing on the floor. Now it’s not there. The cowboy scours his eyes on the expanse of his bedroom floor.

 

Nothing.

 

Still nothing, however hard he tries to look for it.

 

He lost his pride and joy. He has lost his Goddamn belt.

 

Jesse scratches his beard, still damp from his bath. Things can’t just disappear into thin air, it just ain’t right. That belt has stayed on him through thick and thin, through his days as vigilante, through Blackwatch _–Hell_ , the damn thing still stays when he got half his arm blown off. He loves the thing to bits, almost as much as he loves his hat.

 

_“Madre de dios.”_

Jesse was about to do his laundry when came out of his bath, starting to pick the discarded clothes of the floor when he realizes that his belt is missing. What is it with people losing stuffs today? Is the base haunted? Is that it? The frustration grew as he found another piece of socks without its pair when he looks under his bed. He felt like someone is playing a cruel joke on him as he lugged his dirty clothing in a basket, heading towards the laundry.

 

He needs a smoke.

 

Would anyone mind if he smokes in the laundry room? He figures that is he does smoke in there, not only Angela but the rest of the agents will come for his hide. And if he is going to die, you bet your sweet ass he’s gonna die with his belt proudly secured on his waist. Jesse McCree is not gonna kick the bucket before finding that damn thing.

 

Jesse’s mood sours as he reaches the laundry room in the watchpoint basement. He begins to cram his stuffs in the washer almost missing a soft _clank_ several feet to his right.

 

“What in tarnation?”

 

There was no one else but the lone cowboy in the basement, and none of the other machines are on. Maybe the watchpoint _is_ haunted.

 

Jesse put down his basket gingerly on the floor while his brain churns out some alternative and logical explanation. ‘ _Maybe it’s just a stray cat, some rats, or maybe-‘_

 

He crouches and steels himself to peer inside one of the machine.

 

Two pairs of glowing blue eyes stares back.

 

The eyes belong to two ferret sized dragons, scales illuminating the dark interior of the washing machine and a familiar glint under the dragons claw caught his eyes. In a pile of other metallic stuffs, a plaque stood out with four bold letters engraved on it; B A M F. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, he has found the dragon’s hoard.

 

Jesse tried to reach for his belt, when one of the dragons hisses at him. He could try with his metal hand, but if Hanzo’s dragons are as powerful as Genji’s, he would not be too inclined to try. He has seen the green dragon encasing Genji’s sword, as he tear through metal and concrete. Yeap, definitely not gonna try.

 

He should go find Hanzo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I didn't write them too OOC, how do you write a brooding dragonlord???  
> Also, thank you so much for reading, and I'd love to hear your thoughts! Have a good day!


	3. The Difference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse and Fareeha have a nice bonding session! Genji is still a little shit, but he's trying. Jesse is also trying.

...

Dragons are real. That much is obvious to Jesse McCree, since two are currently turning the washing machine into their lair and also one very angry one is blocking the hall.

 

”Uh, hey there Gen, mind if I jus-“

 

“Are you making a nuisance of yourself to my brother?” The younger Shimada cut him off.

 

“What, no! It ain’t nothing like that Genji!” The man holds up his hand in front of him, but makes no effort trying to get pass the green cyborg. It won’t be the first time Jesse got his own cowboy ass handed to him by the younger Shimada, still no one can get used to being toss around by the ninja. Jesse is by no mean weak, far from it in fact, and he can certainly handle himself out in the field. But an angry dragon is a whole other story.

 

Also, Hanzo won’t appreciate him fighting with his younger brother.

 

Even though said brother is being an overprotective little shit.

 

And he really needs to find Hanzo.

 

“Say, have you seen Hanzo around?”

 

Jesse curses at his slip, he should have known better than to ask Genji. Judging by the way the green light of his visor flares, it’s pretty obvious that the younger man is glaring daggers.

 

“Jesse.”

 

Genji’s voice is half pleading and half exasperation.

 

“Come on Gen, it ain’t fair to the guy. I ain’t tryin’ to try nothing, you can’t just isolate him like that.”

 

There’s a truth to the cowboy’s words, and even the cyborg can see that, albeit reluctantly. Genji knows that it won’t do Hanzo any good if he keep sheltering him, but he has seen how much his brother has changed. How he is now merely a shell diminished by his self-hatred and guilt. His brother is recovering, and he just can’t risk to lose the man again if Jesse decides to play with him.

 

Genji won’t be able to forgive Jesse. He won’t be able to forgive himself.

 

The ninja knows that Jesse can’t see his face with his visor on, and he’s not very good with words. But still he wishes the man to understand that there is a reason for his actions.

 

“Jesse, please.”

 

“I found his dragons.”

 

Genji wasn’t expecting that.

 

“You found Udon and Soba? Where are they?”

 

“They’re named after noodle?”  
  
“Yes, but unrelated –Where are they? Hanzo is worried out of his mind.”

 

“In the laundry room. They’re holding m’ belt hostage, and I’m not risking my arm to try an’ get it back.”

 

Genji sighs. Maybe he is reading too much into this. Jesse is obviously just trying to be friendly, and the man is naturally flirty to anything that moves. He feels bad for his behavior.

 

“I’m sorry Jesse, I shouldn’t just-”

 

“Ain’t nothing to it, pardner. You’re just being a good brother.” An easy smile graces the cowboy’s lips and he gives his friend a tip of his hat.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Genji gives him a deep bow followed by a friendly punch to his upper arm.

 

“Come on now, let’s go find yer brother and get me my belt back.”

 

…

 

They found Hanzo in Torbjorn’s workshop, with the small Swedish man helping him looking around for the unruly dragons. He didn’t expect the usually grumpy man to be helping the older Shimada out. Jesse doesn’t know Hanzo that well, but when they inform him about his dragons, the looks on the man’s face spells out relief. It’s a good look for him, and at least it gives his eyebrows a break from crunching together.

 

They bid the engineer goodbye, earning a short half-hearted grumble from the man. Then they head towards the basement into the dragon’s den. He walks side by side with Hanzo with Genji trailing behind them. He could feel younger Shimada’s gaze on his back, but since the cyborg has said nothing yet, he should be in the clear. But just to be sure, he’s keeping a respectable distance from Hanzo. God forbid if he accidentally brushes his fingers against the man and gain another metal arm.

 

Jesse risks a glance to the side and is met with an anxious looking Hanzo. The man is back to his usual frown. He can’t pretend to know what is bothering the man, but shouldn’t he at least be at ease that they’ve found the escaped dragons? Or is he still upset that he lost them in the first place? Jesse is too afraid to ask the man. Everyone has the right to bury their own demons when they’re not ready to face them yet.

 

They arrive at the laundry room in silence and are immediately greeted by the faint chatters from the machine that is now the dragon’s den. It was pretty obvious which machine holds the loot, but Hanzo seems reluctant to approach it. His shoulders tensed, and eyes forward.

 

“You okay there, pardner?”

 

Jesse voiced shakes Hanzo out of whatever contemplation he was in and the older Shimada physically wills his feet to move.

 

Jesse and Genji merely observe at the door, the latter preparing himself to catch the duo dragons in case they decide to bolt again.

 

Fortunately, no such thing happens.

 

Jesse marvels at the way Hanzo coaxes the twin dragons out of their den. He never saw the man being that gentle, then again he doesn’t see the man often, he just assumes Hanzo to have a permanent uptight scowl from the way Genji always describes his brother. Which makes sight before him entirely foreign. Hanzo is kneeling on the ground, hair still disheveled, murmuring soft Japanese and gingerly holds his hands up by the machine’s round opening, yet still respecting the dragons, and careful not to intrude on the creature’s space. His features slightly frowning, eyes focused yet soft. Secretly, Jesse wants to be the one on the other end of that gentle coaxing.

 

_‘It must be nice.’_

Jesse jolts as he feels a forceful nudge against his ribs.

 

“You’re staring.”

 

There’s no heat behind Genji’s words, only wariness.

 

_‘I can’t help it.’_ Jesse almost wants to reply. The cowboy knows the reason behind Genji’s wariness. He always plays the charming cowboy persona, and also he’s the type to fall fast, and lures his affection into his arms faster. But the flame that burns too bright, too quickly will also goes off just as fast.

 

Jesse knows he shouldn’t. His teammate is always off-limit, and that’s the one rule he holds dear, and a man’s gotta have a rule. No matter how beautiful the man looks when the small smile appears on his lips as the dragons curl up onto his arms and disperse into soft blue light.

 

No.

 

He promised Genji. He _promised._

Hanzo stands up and walks towards the duo guarding the door, looking as if an enormous weight has just been lifted from his shoulders.

 

“I apologize for the inconvenience my dragons have caused.” He gives Jesse a deep bow.

 

“Whoa, now- It ain’t a problem. No need for all these formality.”

 

“No, it is only…” Hanzo paused, seemingly struggling in finding the word “…proper.”

 

Jesse felt awkward after that, just standing around, not realizing that his huge frame is blocking the way.

 

“I shall now leave you to return to your tasks.”

 

Hanzo eyes the scattered piles of Jesse’s dirty clothes, and quirks one eyebrow at the heavy cowboy theme on all the boxers, but refrains from commenting. There are also tiny scratch marks that look suspiciously like his dragon’s doing.

 

“Oh.”

 

The realization hits cowboy hard and his face heats up like a coal train as blood rushes to his face turning it red. He tries to ignore the devilish snickers from behind him.

 

“Lets go, _Anija_.”

 

Jesse curses.

 

He drags his stetson over his eyes, covering his furiously blushing face as Hanzo walks pass him. He could’ve sworn he saw a glimpse of a smirk from under the rim of his hat.

 

_Goddamn._

…

 

“So the basically Genji is not letting you get close to his brother, but at the same time you want and also _don’t_ want to be with the older Shimada? You’re not making any sense there.”

 

“Help me out here ‘Reeha!”

 

“You know I love you like a brother, but there’s nothing I can do here. Especially with how you describe your predicaments.”

 

“How is it that you and Angela seems to have it so easy?”

 

“Well, to start it off, unlike a certain someone we don’t over complicate stuff.”

 

Fareeha scoffs at the cowboy currently sprawled on her bed. The man has barged into her room uninvited and proceeds to whine about his forbidden little crush on their new sniper. It’s endearing, really, the Egyptian stares at the man who was his brother figure while she was growing up. She will never admit it now, but there was once a time when she considers the cowboy look to be the coolest thing on earth. Maybe that lingering adoration is what keeping her from kicking Jesse out.

 

“Big talk from the lil’ girl who constantly scrapes her knee to get a trip to the cute doctor.”

 

“Shut up!” Fareeha shrieks, pulls her pillow from Jesse and smothers the infuriating cowboy. Her face darkens from embarrassment. She lets go as the muffled scream turned frantic, and is faced by a breathless, still grinning Jesse McCree.

 

“Thank ya kindly for not killing me Darlin’.”

 

“Tease me again, and I’m getting my Reptora suit.”

 

“Angie’s gon’ be mad, if ya add poor old me to her piling list of work.”

 

“Don’t worry Jes, I’ll make sure you’re too dead to be a patient.”

 

“Get in line, doll. Genji’s already way ahead of you.”

 

Fareeha sighs at the cowboy’s situation and flopped down on a chair next to her bed. It’s really none of her business what happens or _going to_ happen to Jesse and the Shimada. But that’s what siblings are for, sticking their noses in places they don’t belong.

 

“So what are you gonna do?”

 

Jesse gives a long sigh at the question. What is he going to do? He’s too old have schoolboy crush on his teammate. Especially when said teammate’s brother is on to his ass.

 

“I suppose I can just wait it out.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Ya know how I was always quick to fall in and out of love. I figure I can just wait this one out.”

 

His answer earned him a scoff, and a disappointed look.

 

“Then you’ve never been truly in love.”

 

“You know nothing, Reeha.” Jesse throws a pillow aiming for Fareeha’s head, and she catches it without a hitch.

 

“I _know_ the difference between love and lust.” She throws the pillow back, “And you obviously don’t.”

 

“I’m not here to get crapped on. Why am I even here.“ Despite his words, Jesse is still stubbornly wriggling around on the bed, crumpling the sheets out of his pettiness. The owner crinkles his nose in annoyance, contemplating to throw the man on the floor.

 

“How are you and Angie doin?”

 

She blinks, slightly confused by the genuine tone from the cowboy.

 

“We’re doing great. She’s been working really hard lately, with the recall, prepping and restocking the med bay. But at least we’re working on the same base now.”

 

Jesse stares blankly into the plain ceiling of Fareeha’s room. The little girl who once played cowboy with him is now all grown up, and way ahead of him in life. While he’s- _Well,_ he’s a mess. Without the Overwatch recall he’d still be a tumbleweed rolling in the wind, while Fareeha holds a prestigious position of being the chief officer at Helix Security.

 

“M’ glad to hear that.”  
  
Thirty-seven, _huh_. He never thought he would live pass twenty. He has been through hell and desert storm but he’s still mostly intact. His way of living prevents him from having a real relationship, a bit of a fling here and there, some one-night stands, and lots of heartbreaks is all he ever knew in term of romance. He also ever knew platonic love only after he’s into his late teen. When Overwatch practically adopted him.

 

Love and lust.

 

Love _or_ lust.

 

“Ya know, I’m proud of ya, Reeha.” Jesse says as he sits up with a grunt. He has a lot to think about.

 

Jesse drags his feet towards the door, ignoring the questioning look from his sister.

 

“Jesse?”

 

He turns, awaiting whatever Fareeha has to say.

 

“Promise me you’re gonna think about it.”

 

“Aw mummy, but Genji’s ain’t letting me play in the sandbox.”

 

“Who says anything about playing?” Fareeha gives him an exasperated look. ”I don’t really know what Genji’s problems with it is, but I think it’d be good for you to think about what you’re feeling. In the end, it’s your decision if you’re going to act on it. But just promise me that you’d think about it. It’s unfair to Hanzo if he’s being isolated from the team, anyway.”

 

Jesse paused and blinked a few times, letting it sinks in. Was that Fareeha’s way of telling him that she’s rooting for him?

 

“And do it quick. You don’t want my mom to butt in on this. She probably still would though.”

 

And that does it.

 

“Fine, fine…everyone and their mothers askin’ me bout promising this and that. Next thing you know ya’ll gonna make me swear off smokin’.”

 

“That’d actually be terrific for your health, and Angie’s gonna be so happy.”

 

He walks back towards Fareeha and gives her hair a ruffle, her hands flailing up trying to bat Jesse’s away. She tries to sound irritated but there is no mistaking the teasing grin on her face.

 

“Quit smiling like that or it might rightly split your face, lil sis.”

 

Jesse chuckles fondly as he finally leaves the room. The last thing he saw was Fareeha, ex-chief of Helix Security sticking her tongue out at him. Some things will never change.

 

But Fareeha was right.

 

Jesse has a lot to think about.

 

With his spurs jiggling merrily behind him, her word echoes in his mind.

 

_‘Lust or love. Lust or love.’_

_‘What’s the difference?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was dead. Until the Overwatch uprising event revived me. Hope you enjoy this chapter! :D


	4. The Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title: The Shimadas are sad.

...

The newly recalled Overwatch is now truly in motion. The return of the two veterans Jack Morrison and Ana Amari, who are previously thought to be dead, causes a massive uproar from the agents. Save for Jesse and Fareeha, no one knows about the two. Jesse is lying if he says he wasn’t surprised at first when he and Fareeha received a letter from Ana Amari after the funeral meant for the old sniper. But it made him realize all the more important he is to her, like a son, she’d told him in the letter. And while everyone is crowding over the two agents, he and Fareeha stayed back with the rest of the new recruits. They’re going to be deployed for missions soon, since the old guards are back.

_‘Overwatch agents seems to have an affinity to come back from the clutches of death.’_ Jesse muses, _’Too bad Reyes- no, don’t think of that.’_

In search of solace from the past, he looks towards his right side. Hanzo.

 

_‘Nope, don’t think about that either.’_

With the mission coming up, Jesse doesn’t need the distraction, and confronting feelings _–real_ feelings are not in his forte.

 

For all he knows, Hanzo Shimada is trouble.

 

And for once, he listens to Genji and he decided to not go after the older Shimada. It is better for everyone if he just let this fleeting fancy passes and be a decent teammate, acquaintance, maybe friend.

 

“Is something the matter?” Jesse is yanked out of his thought by the familiar voice from his right.

 

Hanzo was among the few who doesn’t fuss about Jack and Ana’s return, but his eyes are still focused at the two, slightly frowning. Jesse learns that it is the man’s default expression to almost anything and everything.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ bout.” Jesse winced at his own words, he didn’t mean to sound so cold towards the older man, he hasn’t done anything wrong to Jesse.

 

“You’re pouting.”

 

“I- How _dare_ -” Jesse stammered “I ain’t doin’ no pouting, Shimada!”

 

“It is unseemly for a grown man to pout.”

 

Speechless, the cowboy gives an indignant huff when suddenly something caught his eyes, a tiny upturn by the side of Hanzo’s lips. _Oh,_ the damn son of a bitch is smirking.

 

Jesse pulls his hat down, trying to cover his quickly reddening face. Genji may be threatening, but at this moment, Jesse McCree is sure that it is none other than Shimada Hanzo who’s going to be the death of him.

 

_‘It’s only a fleeting fancy, let it pass.’_

 

Hanzo knows that provoking the Overwatch resident cowboy is far from wise. His brother will not be happy about it, but what Genji doesn’t know won’t hurt him. While the younger Shimada is chatting away excitedly with the crowd, Hanzo is content with watching from afar. What he didn’t expect was for McCree to stay by the sideline too, especially with such a sour expression on his face. Still it would be rude to pry, and Hanzo has enough of that reputation to last him a lifetime.

 

_‘Try to be yourself –but kinder. Smile, brother.’_ Was what Genji has told him the first time he set foot on the watchpoint.

 

Hanzo has tried to seek forgiveness for a good portion of his life, and after reconciling with his brother, he learned that forgiveness has to go both ways. From Genji, and also from himself. He tries, he really does, but still he finds it hard to do so. It is not something as easy as it sounds like. And with the feeling of the cowboy’s eyes on him every time they meet, it is only natural to try and –as Genji would put it ‘ _make friends.’_ After all, he has caused the man some trouble with his dragons. The entire event is still fresh on his mind, and it left a bad taste in his mouth. He wonders why? He did give his gratitude in the form of words, but it is still strangely…incomplete.

 

Hanzo sighs, his frown is now back in full force, eradicating whatever little ghost of a smile from his feature.

 

“McCree.” He hesitated ad the cowboy whips his head towards him, “I would like to properly thank you for your help in the, uh, incident I have caused several days ago.”

 

“Naw, I’ve told you it ain’t no problem, pardner.” The man flashed him a toothy grin and tips his hat.

 

“I’m afraid I must insist.”

 

Jesse quirks his eyebrow, clearly interested now. And why is the great Shimada Hanzo refuses to look him in the eye? ‘ _Nope, think of something else, remember what Reeha said.’_

 

“It is something I must do, else I’d feel-”

 

_‘What did she say again?’_

“Right. Lust or love?”

“-Indebted.”

 

Hanzo freezes, his eyes wide and trained on Jesse, lips slightly parted.

 

_‘Ah, crap. I’ve gone an’ said it out loud hadn’t I?’_

The room is now eerily quiet, and he could felt every single eyes directed at him with varying degree of intrigue and disgust, except for Fareeha giving him a look that spells out ‘I-no-longer-consider-you-as-my-brother.’

 

And then there’s Genji, literally fuming from his vent.

 

The cowboy gulps and looks towards the older Shimada, silently pleading for help for his slip of tongue. But there is no such luck as Hanzo is back to averting his gaze and coughing into his fist, hiding the faint red blooming on his cheek. Mortified or scandalized, maybe both, _most likely_ both. Jesse locks eyes with Ana who looks at him with a raised eyebrow, clearly demanding an explanation later. The silence is beginning to grow uncomfortable, his spurs jiggle slightly as he shifts on his feet.

 

“I’ll go jump off the cliff now.” McCree gestures towards the exit and goes on his walk of shame.

 

“Yeah, you’d better.” He hears a faint robotic voice from behind him. Genji is going to tan his hide before the sun is down.

 

…

 

To say that Genji is furious is an understatement.

 

The cyborg is out for blood.

 

The only thing stopping the younger Shimada from going after Jesse that very moment is his brother.

 

“Hanzo, are you okay?”

 

The older Shimada stares at the door the cowboy has disappeared into. His eyebrows drawn together, confused as to what on earth prompted those words. Is it an American thing? It can’t be. Maybe it is just one of those silly cowboy things. He shouldn’t think too much of it.

 

“Anija?” Genji tries again, after Hanzo’s lack of response to his earlier question.

 

“Yes. It’s- I’m fine, Genji.”

Genji’s expression is unreadable with his mask on, but Hanzo swears the hum that follows is one of disbelieve.

 

The ninja motions him to follow, and Hanzo is led towards the agent’s living quarters. Being in Genji’s room feels surreal and brings back memory he would rather bury. The room is tidier from what he would expect of his younger brother, but there are still familiar habits showing from the crumbs on his bed. Hanzo lets a small smile quirks, as he remembers how his little brother loved to snack on his bed even after his countless scolding. _He’s still Genji._

 

“Hanzo, please.”

 

The cyborg is clearly distraught. Hanzo needs to ask him later how he could convey so many emotions through a featureless piece of metal.

 

“I’ve told you. I am fine, _otouto_.”

 

Genji sighs as he paces the room, pressing his palm to his forehead.

 

“I’m sorry. Just, what exactly did you say to him?”

 

“I’m just trying to relay my gratitude for the other day.”

 

“What he said doesn’t even make sense. I’m going to have a word with him.”

 

“Leave him be, Genji.”

 

Genji stops in his track, looking at Hanzo, confusion and questions rising in his head. The older Shimada looks exasperated.

 

“Why are you sticking up to him?”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“I’m just trying to help-”

 

“Genji, _please._ ”

 

The shift in Hanzo’s tone is his cue to stop. It breaks his heart to hear Hanzo so tired, lifeless. This is not what he wants for his brother. It was that night in Hanamura all over again, the confrontation, the tiredness in his voice. It’s like when someone was so used to being fueled by anger alone, letting go of said anger. It is achingly familiar to the younger Shimada. He has done this song and dance, he met Zenyatta and he teaches him to balance his emotions and in that, he found peace. But Hanzo- Hanzo is different. That night, he had to let go of his anger with nothing to replace or balance it out with. So similar to that night when Hanzo told him he lost his dragons.

 

He just wants to help.

 

“ _Anija_ , talk to me. I know there’s something bothering you!”

 

“Genji, I am not a fragile piece of antique, do not treat me like one.”

 

“Is it Jesse?”

 

“Who- This has nothing to do with him!”

 

“Then what is it, Hanzo?” Genji rises his voice, frustrated in getting nowhere with his brother.

 

_‘Why do you have to be so strong headed?’_

 

“It is something I’d rather not discuss.”

 

The finality in Hanzo’s voice is mirrored in his action, as the man leaves the room, leaving his brother to his lonesome.

 

Genji wants to chase after him, but it is not a wise choice to push him too much, so he just watches his brother go. If only Hanzo could see that he’s just trying to reach out to him. Genji crumples to his bed, feeling his energy seeping out of him in form of steam from his vent. Yet another reminder of what he has become. The cyborg sighs and pulls out a framed picture from his bedside drawer –a picture of two brothers, side by side, taken on a happier time. He reclaimed the photograph during his time in Blackwatch, on his mission to take down the Shimada clan. He wasn’t sure why he did it, maybe he was just clinging to the foolish dream of turning back time. He still is. The funny thing is, he thought he hated his brother, but he still brings the photograph with him everywhere he goes, even during his stay with the Shambali. Maybe as a reminder of what he used to be. Maybe, as a reminder of who _Hanzo_ used to be.

 

Genji took off his visor, his vision blurs, and droplets of tears fell on the glass as he silently sobs.

 

_‘I just want my brother back.’_

…

 

The act of a bumbling idiot is what Jesse would remember the day by. He has been actively avoiding everyone on base the whole damn day for his embarrassing slip up, and he ain’t planning to meet with anyone, anytime soon. But it feels ridiculous trying to sneak around the base to get to the outside hangar for a smoke. At least it is a beautiful sunset.

 

Jesse spits out a curse at the sight that awaits him, though. This ain’t a goddamn romance novel, and sweet heavens forbid that Hanzo is just siting by the edge of the hangar, illuminated by the sunset glow.

_‘Sweet Jesus.’_

 

Thankfully, the man didn’t notice the cowboy yet. Maybe Jesse still has the chance to turn back tail and head for the hills. He should go. But the man looks so goddamn lonely and sad. He _really_ should go. But he keeps putting one foot in front of the other, towards an entirely wrong direction. _I have to go._

“Hey Darlin’, why the long face?”

 

_‘Shit.’_

At first, Hanzo doesn’t acknowledge him and Jesse hopes that it means his cue to skedaddle. But with his feet rooted firmly on the ground, the man grew even more curious as to what Hanzo is doing out here. Until his eyes landed on the bottle of sake tucked on the man’s crossed legs.

 

_Oh._

“Mind if I join ya, pardner?”

 

Jesse doesn’t wait for a confirmation and just flops down next to the archer. There is not a sound nor movement from the two men, and all is silent except for the crashing of the waves beneath and the occasional seagull above. It is calming for Jesse after realizing that his company isn’t planning to break the silence anytime soon. He pulls out his cigar and lit it in a practiced ease, the movement comes so naturally for him he forgot to ask his companion. But Hanzo doesn’t say a thing, and his face betrays nothing of what he feels, or maybe he’s just too lost in the bottom of the bottle to care.

 

The cowboy’s mind flashes back to the earlier event and he winces. Should he apologize? It will make this all the more awkward, maybe he should just keep his mouth shut for once since nothing good has come out of him blabbing like a fool.

 

The wind starts to chill, and send shiver down Hanzo’s body. He is after all, wearing a traditional _kyudo-gi_ , leaving half his chest and his intricate tattoo exposed to the cold. Jesse feels a bit guilty hogging the warmth of his serape all to himself. But when it comes to Hanzo Shimada, there is always an uncertainty in the air –unknowing of what to do, if his action would please or offend the man. Jesse fixes his eyes to the horizon, the line where the gradually darkening sky meets the sea. It wasn’t until when the stars are fully out that Hanzo gives a sign of acknowledging his presence. Jesse was just admiring the night sky when something cold and hard nudges at his cheek.

 

Hanzo isn’t looking at him, his dark eyes are still fixated on the stars, but his arm is outstretched, offering his bottle of sake to Jesse.

 

Jesse says nothing and accepts it with a small thank you.

 

He took a sip of the beverage and gives an appreciative hum, before passing the bottle back to Hanzo.

 

“Not half bad. But I prefer a little bit of bite to my liquor.”

 

The statement earns him a snort.

 

“How predictable. Such unsophisticated taste.”

 

Jesse McCree is unsure if he should feel offended by the blatant insult to his taste. But he eventually decides to let it slide, watching the smoke from his cigar curls up into the air.

 

Jesse can feel that there is something plaguing the mind of the archer, but there is nothing he can do about it. He’s no one to him, not lovers, not even friends. They are merely acquaintance.

 

_You like him._

_It is merely a fleeting fancy. Nothing more._

_Are you sure?_

Again, Jesse McCree is unsure, but all he can do is to wait it out. For now, he is content in sharing the silence of the night with the man. Maybe they can get to know each other better one day, who knows? Maybe becoming a friend. Maybe if he is indeed capable of holding on to this infatuation, someday, somehow, a lover. But Jesse is not going to pursue this feeling if people are only going to get hurt in the end. Not yet, not now.

 

They spent another hour together, sitting in silence before McCree’s stomach growls loud enough for him to feel embarrassed by it. He excuses himself to go back towards the dining room, inviting the older Shimada to join him. His invitation was denied. Thus he left the man alone, back to his contemplative silence and retreat into the warmth of the base. But not before sparing a glance towards Hanzo.

 

He looks just like the depiction in the old story of the two dragons Genji used to tell him; a powerful dragon lost and consumed by loneliness.


	5. Uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for taking so long with this chapter!

... 

A month after his slip up, Jesse is now back on track with his shameless cowboy shenanigans. He would be lying if he says nothing has changed since then, because God almighty, things have been extremely confusing. He doesn’t know when it starts to become a routine, but for the past months, he has been meeting Hanzo every few days for a nightly drink. Granted, neither of them talks, but it is still a pleasant company. The reclusive archer seems to enjoy the silence and Jesse starts to learn how to appreciate the calmness of it all.

 

Funny thing is, Genji hasn’t been bugging him lately, though Jesse could feel an intense gaze boring into his skull every now and then.

 

Jesse also notices the distance growing between the two brothers.

 

_‘It is none of my business.’_

 

Jesse hates seeing them like this, especially the ever-present restlessness of the older Shimada. Often times, Hanzo would look like he was about to say something, but just as quick, he opts for the prolonged silence, mulling over his sake. Always thinking in that overworked brain of his. To be honest, Jesse is often intrigue by what must be running through Hanzo’s mind, but he knows better than to ask. Hanzo will tell him when he feels ready to. Maybe he will eventually, maybe not ever. Jesse doesn’t mind either way.

 

_‘Also, your so-called_ fleeting fancy _is still there.’_

The cowboy chews on his cigar, annoyed.

 

_“I know that look, Jesse.”_ Came a voice from his earpiece.

 

He glances up towards Ana’s sniper perch, knowing that the old soldier is somewhere cloaked in the shadows. It is a little bit unfair, really, with Ana having clear view of the whole team while she is safely tucked in her corner, judging them to pass the time.

 

Jesse chided himself mentally for being distracted on a mission. It’s an amateur move, and he is sure Ana will not be letting him off the hook easily. ‘ _Damn Hanzo and his pretty face.’_

_“Someone on your mind, Jesse?”_

 

“I don’t rightly know what you’re talking bout ma’am. This here is just my ol’ handsome mug.”

 

There’s no fooling Ana Amari, Jesse knows that. But hell if he’s not gonna try.

_“What’s this all about, Eastwood? Is there something I missed?”_

 

Lucio perks up, sounding happy to at least have something in this boring escort mission.

 

“Ain’t nothing, Lu. Ana is just teasin’ me is all.”

 

_“Aww man, don’t go keeping secrets from me!”_

 

_“Agents, focus!”_

 

For the first time ever, Jesse thanks the stick up Morrison’s ass. At least his gruff voice translates his annoyance well to anyone’s listening. That usually does the trick for quieting down the chatter in com. Except this time, Reinhardt and Ana are having none of it.

 

_“LIGHTEN UP JACK! YOU WERE NO BETTER IN YOUR YOUNGER DAYS!”_

_“Jesus, Reinhardt! Lower you voice!”_

_“Ahem- Sorry.”_ Came a booming laughter, not sounding sorry for a smidge.

 

_“We’ll talk about this when we’re back on base.”_

 

“Ma’am, I don’t mean no offense here, but as much as I love you as my own ma, I don’t need you to mother me around.”

 

_“Someone has to do the job. Else you won’t even remember to wash in the morning.”_

 

Jesse swears he hear something like a snort that comes from one Jack Morrison.

 

_“Also, Fareeha is getting annoyed.”_

_What the fuck? Damn it, ‘Reeha!_

“Yes, ma’am.” He said begrudgingly.

 

By this time, Jesse is praying for an old fashion shootout to happen. It only seems fitting, as they’re now watching the limo they’re escorting passes through the old western town set. Alas, the mission went ‘well’ for the stuck up omnic director, but not so much for the cowboy. If he has to hear one more insult coming from the omnic, he’d throw one of his flash bang into the limo to shut the guy up. Ana’s darts be damned.

 

It is already too late if Jesse is trying to deny that he actually looks forward to his nightly drink with Hanzo, and a little bit disappointed that the archer is not amongst the welcome committee as he step off the jet onto solid ground.

 

_‘Why would he be waiting for you?’_

_‘Aren’t we at least friends right now?’_

_‘You’ve never really talked much.’_

_‘Fair point.’_

Genji, Fareeha and Angela are waiting near the launch pad welcoming him and the rest of the team. Jesse forces himself to smile and hide behind his usual southern charm, cloaking the fact that he’s actually mentally drained by the boring mission, and Morrison already calling for a quick debrief is not helping at all.

 

Well, he supposes it’s better to get it over and done with.

 

During the entire debrief session Jesse could feel an eye silently drilling into the back of his skull. Ana. Oh yeah, the old guard is not going to let him go is she? Jesse just doesn’t expect her to find out so soon _–again, damn Fareeha._ Jesse gulps as he locks eyes with the seasoned sniper, right after Morrison utters the word ‘dismissed.’ Huh, the debrief seems to be over fast, especially when you’re far too deep in your own shit to care about anything that comes out of Morrison’s mouth.

 

“Jesse, would you like to talk over some tea?”

 

The smile Ana offers him is genuine. It doesn’t make the cowboy late into his thirty any less nervous.

 

“N-nah, ma’am. I’m rightly beat. Figures I should hit the hay-”

 

Ana raises an eyebrow at him. As if saying-

 

_‘Who do you think you’re talking to, boy?’_

Ah. The floor looks very interesting right about now. Is that a new crack? Winston should be more careful in dragging around his equipment, this base is getting old.

 

“Jesse McCree.”

 

His eye snaps up to attention, meeting Ana’s gaze, amusement hidden in her knowing look. Jesse notices that the other agents have cleared the room. He hates being cornered like this, but there is no escaping the sharpest woman in the base, if not the whole world.

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

Ana’s eye softens, as she lets out a sigh. Though, not in disappointment, nor frustration.

 

“Jesse, you know I love you like my own son.”

 

Okay, anything that starts with that is _not_ gonna be good.

 

“Are you going to tell me not to fool around? Cuz I get that ma’am, I really do. I know I’m gettin’ old and maybe it’s time to stop an-”

 

“I’m telling you to be careful, and not to hurt yourself.” She interrupted.

 

“What-”

 

“I’m surprised you chose the archer, considering you and Genji are very close. Now don’t get me wrong, when I was your age-”

 

_Oh, boy._

 

…

 

Arrows after arrows, taut string pulled back in practiced ease, the heavy _thunk_ of the training bots. It is near therapeutic to Hanzo’s ear. Upon reviewing the incidences of the past few months, he now believes that he is trapped in a world of uncertainty.

 

Hanzo was certain that he has killed his brother, but Genji is alive.

 

Hanzo was certain that the Overwatch agents would despise him, but he was welcomed with open arms.

 

Hanzo was certain that the cowboy is too loud for his own good, yet they have spent night after night drinking in silence.

 

_THUNK._

His skill with the bow is the only thing he is certain of. The certainty of arrows hitting the target Hanzo intended them to.

 

_THUNK._

The skill he gained through hard work, a skill he was forced to learn for the sake of the clan. _The clan_ , the clan that forced his hands to be drenched in his brother’s blood.

 

The clan.

 

_The dragons._

He heard the clatter, before he notices that he has dropped his bow.

 

A faint humming in his arm reminded him of the ancient spirits that dwell within. A tattoo on the left, and a brand of the family sigil on the right. The clan was brutal in the way they marked the man as their possession; both body and soul. Hanzo is no fool, he has long since realized that he was merely viewed as an object, another puppet to sit on the throne, giving orders that was already predetermined by the elders of the clan. He was given material wealth and power, in exchange for his service to the clan. Which is why it surprises Hanzo that he was still able to use the power given to him by the clan when he tore himself from their grip.

 

The dragons had stayed.

 

They had stayed with him when he turned against his brother. They had stayed even when he ran. They stayed through the years in his journey in finding redemption. He was certain that the dragons would stay with him, until his dying breath.

 

But now the dragons have grown restless.

 

Hanzo can barely contain the spirits inside his tattoo. They have been unruly, eager to leave the confinements of their host.

 

Hanzo is again, left uncertain if the dragons still deem him worthy as their master. Has he been too lax? Are they displeased that Hanzo is starting to find home in this group of people? Have the dragons not forgiven him still for turning them against their own?

 

Will they still answer to him, if he calls upon them in battle?

 

Are they going to leave him to die?

 

The questions have been plaguing his mind since the moment the dragons ran out of his room. Though he eventually found them with the help of the cowboy, there are still _‘what ifs’_ glaring at him. So far, his missions have been smooth sailing, and he need not to call upon the ancient spirits, yet he can almost tastes the brewing storm coming. Nothing has ever been this easy his entire life. Something is going to go very wrong, very soon. He just _knows_ it.

 

Hanzo can’t bring himself to consult his brother. It is not only his pride preventing him from doing so, and Genji has been treating him like a fragile glass sculpture since the very first day he arrived. The elder Shimada needs no more reason to give the younger to worry about. This is something he must face alone.

 

_‘But you’re not alone anymore.’_

To Hanzo’s dismay, his conscience is starting to sound more and more like his brother.

 

This can’t be happening.

 

Storm bow is lying on the floor by his feet. It has been his faithful companion for years, an extension of himself. Yet now, it looks so heavy, Hanzo dare not try to pick it up.

 

“You okay there, pardner?”

 

Hanzo whips his head towards the source of the voice. The familiar figure has just walked into the training range, and caught the Japanese man by surprise. They locked eyes for a split second, before Hanzo diverts his gaze back to the training bots. New worries are now popping up in his mind. Anxious if the cowboy has caught onto his state of mind. _Nonsense!_ Hanzo scolds himself, reminding him that humans can’t read minds.

 

_‘But they can read expressions, dumbass.’_

_‘Shut up, Genji!’_

 

“Hey, didn’t mean to spook ya or anything-“ Jesse raises his hand, showing he means no harm. Though Hanzo is probably able to guess by now. His warm brown eyes are drawn towards the floor where the archer’s bow rests.

 

Odd.

 

“Here, let me get that for you.” Jesse strolls over and Hanzo feels his breath catches as the taller man reaches down.

_‘No!’ is that what you’re trying to say? What good would it do to stop him, Hanzo?_

Hanzo blinks and the cowboy is now in front of him offering his bow.

 

_‘You’re not alone anymore, let us help.’_

“Thank you.”

 

Hanzo reaches out, grabbing his bow from Jesse, all the while still refusing to meet his eyes. The weapon feels just the same in his hand, certainly not as heavy as he thought it would be. He slings the weapon on his back, and goes to gather his arrows from the bots before leaving the ground. That was when he heard the cowboy sighs loudly.

 

“Ya know, Darlin’ –”

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

“Okay, okay –Hanzo. Ya know, all of us over in this here base has had our fair share of demons to deal with. If you have something botherin’ ya, you call tell me, or anyone, really. Cross my heart, I won’t judge you none.”

 

_‘You’re not alone anymore, brother.’_

 

“You sound like Genji.”

 

Jesse blinks, and processes what Hanzo said for a moment.

 

“Is that a compliment, or-”

 

“You may take it however you like, cowboy.”

 

“Aw, shucks Han, thank ya kindly!”

 

“Do not call me that either.”

 

“Touchy. All right then, Zo-”

 

“Do _not_ give me nicknames. Just Hanzo is fine.”

 

“Anybody ever told ya, that yer boring?”

 

“Now you really do sound like Genji.”

 

Jesse breaks into a toothy grin, and an unfamiliar feeling washes over Hanzo. For the first time, has he finally realizes how truly alone he has been. Even after he arrived at the base. He has built a tiny prison with sky-high walls surrounding himself from his teammates. Years and years of being on the run is partially to blame, but he’s a naturally reclusive person. But this kind of friendly banter is what he has missed, something he and Genji used to do in their youth. Arguing back and forth with no urgency nor any real bites to their words.

 

Hanzo ponders as he yank arrows after arrows from the bots, gathering them up, inspecting the tips before putting them back into his quiver. Jesse just hangs back, watching him and occasionally throw some nicknames at him lightheartedly.

 

Maybe the cowboy _has_ caught on to his mood and is using his own weird brand of humor to try and cheer him up.

 

_‘It is endearing is it not, brother?’_

 

Hanzo refuses to admit it out loud, even if he has realizes the reality:

 

Shimada Hanzo is lonely.

 

And he must not let it show. Not to anyone.

 

Especially the cowboy.

 

Hanzo places the last arrow into his quiver, still feeling the cowboy’s stare despite his back being turned. It is not like he never felt the taller man stealing glances at him in their silent drinking sessions, and he’s sure the cowboy knows that he notices. Hanzo wonders if it is the man’s lack of shame that allows him to be so free to express himself. The loud boisterous laughs he often hears from the common room, to the outwardly curious stares directed at his tattoo, and sometimes the Ouroboros brand on his left arm whenever he left it bare. Hanzo wonders if he can ever be that free.

 

_‘Maybe, someday.’_

 

The years have not been kind to both men, that much he knows. Hanzo can see the tiredness in McCree’s eyes in slow days, but there is also a flicker of something he yearns to grasp. Something he doesn’t quite understand. Not yet.

 

McCree is tenacious in trying to befriend him, but there is also mercy in his silence. Never tries to breach the boundaries, nor pry too much into Hanzo’s past. For that, Hanzo is grateful.

 

When he finally meets Jesse’s eyes, the cowboy is smiling the same lazy smile he always have. It was hard not to return the gesture, and when Hanzo does, Jesse beams and he might as well be shooting rays of sunshine from every orifice.

 

“Now how about that drink, Sug-”

 

“No nicknames.”

 

…

 

Metal fingers rapidly tap at the table, just a smidge away from leaving indentations on the smooth surface. Genji is fidgeting in his seat, staring at the screen monitoring the training area. Muttering under his breath all the while.

 

“You know, when I asked for your help with area surveillance, I didn’t mean for you to spy on your brother.”

 

Winston adjusts his drooping glasses, looking at the cyborg ninja disapprovingly. Rather unimpressed when he received no response from the younger Shimada.

 

“You should leave before I call in Zenyatta, or worse, Dr. Ziegler.”

 

Genji flinches at the mention of the Swiss physician, and grumbles as he leaves the room. Something about ‘playing dirty’, ‘abuse of authority’ and ‘cowboy shish-kebab’.

 

Winston huffs and slides into the now vacated seat, popping a jar of peanut butter despite Angela’s constant chiding. Yes, the blond angel is a nightmare when it comes to health regulation and agent’s diet plans. But he needs all the calories and proteins with the nonsense happening in the base. You’d think that professional agents are _–Well_ , professional!

 

The scientist rubs his forehead watching the older Shimada and McCree walking towards the West hangar, bottles in hands.

 

It shouldn’t be his job to deal with all these shits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winston just wants to be left in peace...  
> Also, hope you liked the chapter and tell me what you think about it! Have a nice day!


	6. Everything and Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was under the influence of a whole lot of caffeine when writing this.

...

“That is beyond creepy.”

 

“Yeah, man. Not cool!”

 

“You guys are supposed to side _with_ me, not _against_ me!”

 

“Still, not cool.”

 

Genji bit the insides of his cheeks as he lets the fumes out of his shoulder vents. The younger Shimada can’t help but whines to the younger agents who he has become fast friends with. He was so certain that Lucio and Hana would side with him. Alas, even to the new recruits, his recent activity is not welcomed with open arms. Genji would have guessed so if his mind is not so clouded by his irritation. The constant _pop_ from the gum Hana so obnoxiously chewing, is not helping the matter either.

 

“Then what do you suggest I should do?”

 

The cyborg flops down onto the lounge sofa unceremoniously. With the way he’s acting, Hana notes that she needs to double check if she really is the youngest in the group. There is no way the pouty robo-man is in his mid-thirty. No way in hell.

 

“Just let them do their own thing, man.” Lucio pipes up in between the noise from the game he’s playing against Hana. _‘Since when did we have a gaming console on base?’_

                                                                                                            

“There’s no way I can do that-”

 

“Why not? Hanzo is all grown up. Unless for some reason you Shimadas grow beard at age five! Though _that_ would explain your poutiness.”

 

“I do not pout!” Genji huffs. “There are things you do not understand.”

 

“Then, don’t ask us for suggestion. Easy!” Hana waves him off, and goes back to concentrating on her game.

 

If only Genji doesn’t have his helmet on, he would have torn his hair out. Sometimes it is more frustrating to vent at Hana than to just let it brew in his metallic lungs. It might be because the Korean mecha pilot is always right. But Genji doesn’t need someone to correct him right now; he needs someone to side with him! Maybe even to encourage his descent to madness. That is the reason he doesn’t run straight to Zenyatta. That is also the reason that the damn cowboy should just get off his brother’s back. It is hard to complain to McCree when the cowboy is the very subject he is going to be bitching about. No, no, Genji does not like this whole situation one bit.

 

_‘Maybe it’s time to be extra petty.’_ He eyes at the screen the duo is currently so fixated on.

 

“Secret military bases should not have gaming consoles.”

 

“A Thirty-five-year old cyborg ninja should not spy on his brother’s love life.”

 

“The Korean military must be very lax.”

 

“The Japanese yakuza must be full of creeps”

 

“I’ll tell Morrison about the console.”

 

“Do it! He secretly plays it after hour.”

 

“You’re bluffing. He’ll get rid of it as soon as he detects fun around this base.”

 

“McCree would’ve eaten Hanzo’s ass before Morrison chuck my console.”

 

Genji chokes.

 

Lucio hollers.

 

Hana Song plays to win.

 

…

 

“Pumpkin?”

 

“No.”

 

“Gum Drop?”

 

“No.”

 

“Cutie Patootie? ”

 

Hanzo snorts into his drink at that one. The cowboy must have been drunk out of his mind to call Hanzo Shimada as such.

 

“No!”

 

“ _Ayy_ , manage to crack a smile outta that one there!” Hanzo whips his head and looks over to the grinning man, red in the face. In fact, they both are. He tried to school his expression back to the blank slate to save him from embarrassment, but his drinking companion is having none of that.

 

“Ya know it’s okay to let loose once in a while, Peaches.”

 

“Hanzo.” He corrected the man, hoping that his voice comes across as stern.

 

“Yes, even for the Hanzos! _Especially_ for the Hanzos!”

 

This has been the noisiest drinking session they’ve had so far, and most if not all of it is due to McCree’s incessant need to run his mouth and chugging back the bottle like his life depends on it. Even Hanzo is rather alarmed at the sudden change of behavior from the man, and refrain himself from drinking too much in case he needs to drag the cowboy back to his bunk. Hanzo silently wonders what possesses the man to feel the need to suddenly drown himself in alcohol? Did the mission go badly? It can’t be it! He has heard that it was a success.

 

The former Shimada heir wills himself to inspect the drunken cowboy carefully. Reading a man cloaked underneath the haze of bumbling intoxication is a skill he earns with no little sacrifice. Pity, most of the things he sees was always the same. Cowardice. Those slimy, greasy, greedy old men- _No, that life has passed. Center yourself, and focus._

Hanzo has muted whatever nonsense that pour out of Jesse’s mouth, and he notes the man’s laugh does not reach his eyes. Those warm brown eyes are aimed towards the distance, staring far ahead, taking in the view yet fixate in nothing in particular. _Just like the way he runs his mouth–_ Hanzo muses, _–at everything and nothing at once. Curious._

“You do not have to do this.”

 

Jesse stops dead in his rambling, shocked by Hanzo’s words. In fact, it was the longest sentence he has yet to get from the older man since they left the training range. Hanzo is looking down, towards the cup of sake he was holding on his lap. Stony, and regal, he reminds Jesse of a gargoyle.

 

“What do you mean, Sweetheart?”

 

Hanzo frowns at the last word.

 

“This– whatever this is.” He gestures at the bottles of drink between them. “You do not enjoy my company. You should not feel the need to-” Hanzo’s words falters and die at his throat. Why does he keep doing this? Pushing away people who are trying to reach out to him. First Genji, then McCree. At this rate, he will spend the rest of his life in solitude.

 

“I believe I was the one who asked ya to join me.”

 

“I would have to assume someone put you up to it, as no one in their sane mind would enjoy my company.”

 

Jesse stares at him for a few seconds trying to process Hanzo’s words, and guffaws hard, leaving Hanzo incredulous.

 

“What-”

 

“ _Darlin_ ’, ain’t no one put me up to anything! _Fuck_ , in fact no one could make me do what I don’t wanna do in the first place. Stubborn as a mule they call me. Also, Genji is already threatening to skin my ass let alone set me up with you!” Jesse wipes a tear from the corner of his eyes. ”Man, yer a hoot!”

 

There was so much Hanzo has meant to say, has _wanted_ to say, but nothing came out. He is certain that the cowboy is hiding something. Something is bothering the man. While McCree has tried to hide his problems by drowning them with the loudness of his own voice, Hanzo opts for the silent route. A man’s demon is his own, and he owes the cowboy that much, than to intrude upon something he is not supposed to.

 

A rare smile make itself known, tugging at the corner of Hanzo’s lips as he realize how different their methods are, yet how similar they are.

 

If McCree is only looking for a distraction, for someone willing to lend an ear to his ramblings, then Hanzo is happy to indulge.

 

…

 

How long has it been? Jesse is not even sure of it himself. It feels like hours have passed since he witness something he shouldn’t have in the training range. Hours he has run his mouth with no particular topics in mind.

 

He talks, and talks, and talks.

 

Jesse acts like he’s drunk well off of his mind, honestly, he hasn’t drunk all that much. Not compared to how much nonsense he has been pulling out of his ass.

 

_‘Why am I doing this?‘_

Hanzo seems to think that he’s drunk and just lets him prattle on and on. Maybe he’s just too polite to dump a seemingly drunk cowboy?

 

His mind is running just as fast as his brain, but in an entirely different direction altogether. While his mouth is sprouting tales of the indomitable cactus spirit and one mean looking rancher in Santa Fe, his brain is cussing up a storm at Ana and Fareeha. Not that he will be inclined to even think about actually cussing in the face of the Amaris. Those women are more than twice the soldier he’ll ever be; they could bend him in _half!_

God, what wouldn’t he give for Hanzo to bend _him_ in half.

 

_Fuck._

This is all the Amari’s fault. If Fareeha hasn’t tipped Ana off on his little puppy crush, if Ana hasn’t urge him on, _dammit all._

_…_

_“I know I told you to be careful,” Ana started as she pour the tea into two cups, ”But heavens know, that word is not in your dictionary. So I’ve got to ask, why are you so afraid to go for it?”_

_Ana offered Jesse his cup and he took it, muttering a small ‘thank you’._

_“Why? Well he’s Genji’s brother! Sorry ma’am, but even my thick skull will break if it’s met with Genji’s sword. Ya saw what he did to the cars in Numbani!” Jesse shuddered at the thought of the aftermath from Doomfist’s arrest. The media managed to pin the destruction on the criminal, but all those cars chopped in half was all Genji’s._

_“Please.” Ana waved her hand dismissively, ”That never seemed to stop you. I seem to recall him wreaking one hell of a storm back in the days.”_

_“We’re talking about Genji here. He’s practically shooting lasers from his eyes back in the day.”_

_“Yet, you still made that comment, what was it-_ ‘Dem ass’ _I believe you said?”_

_Jesse choked and sputtered. Trust Ana Amari to remember. The old sniper seems to ignore his shock and sips her tea gingerly. Is that a trace of a smile she’s hiding behind the cup? Jesse swore he saw a smirk!_

_“And I got a good ass beating over it. Ya bet I learned my lesson!” Jesse coughed as he put down his cup on the table. The cowboy wrinkled his nose, and made his annoyance known._

_Ana sighs the sigh that Jesse was so familiar with, and fixed him with her one good eye. The pause grew heavy and left the cowboy’s stomach twisted in knots._

_“Again, what are you afraid of Jesse?”_

_Jesse gulped._

_“Aside from Genji’s blade? His shurikens.”_

_Another pause, and Ana’s eye narrows._

_“I know those look you’ve got Jesse. You can’t fool an old soldier who has seen too much. Take it from me, Habibi, it’s better to regret having done something than regretting never even giving it a chance.”_

_The shifts in tone did nothing to settle Jesse’s stomach, as he watched his mother figure pour him another cup of steaming hot tea. They say this stuff calms you down, now that is utter horse shit if he have to sit in front of Ana Amari for the damn drink._

_“No offense ma’am, but that is one crappy advice. I can see a whole loads of things crashing and burning if I follow through with it.”_

_“Maybe.” Ana gave him a mischievous smirk. “But where is the Jesse I knew? The fearless boy who ran head first into trouble, the one who slipped into the middle of the Null Sector uprising for a_ ‘vacation’ _?”_

_Jesse shuffled uncomfortably on his feet and felt his ears burn._

_“I grew up, ma’am.”_

_“Pah! Don’t give me that bullshit!” Ana gave a hearty chuckle. “You were such a charmer, and you still are, Jesse. And none of us ever truly grows up. Even Jack still sneaks a play from Hana’s game when he thought nobody’s watching.”_

_Jesse’s eyes lit up, and store that information in his brain for later use._

_Taking Jesse’s silence for a contemplative one, Ana continued, “I’m going to tell you what I told Fareeha.” The Egyptian sipped her tea, taking her time, and giving Jesse an irking feeling that she’s doing these dramatic pauses on purpose just to screw with him._

_“The decision whether to pursue this feelings you have is ultimately yours.”_

_Well, that much he knew._

_“I’ll also tell you the same thing what I told Fareeha when she decides to pursue the young doctor.”_

_Jesse was suddenly reminded that this is not the first time Ana’s had this kind of conversation. Of course, she would’ve gone through this when Fareeha and Angela got together! Oh damn, and now he supposed Fareeha is keen of him having the taste of_ ‘the talk’ _himself, huh._

_“But don’t forget the risks that comes with getting involved with another agents. I believe you know what I’m talking about.” Ana shot him a sharp look._

_“The mission comes first ma’am. And anything in the field is strictly professional.”_

_“Though I wouldn’t hold it above you to flirt in the team com.”_

_“Christ, shoot me in the heart and call it a day will ya?” Jesse grabbed the front of his chest for a dramatic effect. It seems to put a crack in Ana’s serious expression._

_“Still, it is a risky move, and I can’t stress it enough.”_

_“Yes, ma’am.”_

_Jesse waits patiently as Ana sips the last of her beverage. Does she still have something to say or can he go now?_

_“So yer basically just warning me, and would prefer if I don’t go after Hanzo?” Jesse asks the woman tentatively and tried to read her face. Ana’s expression betrayed nothing. As the former second-in-command of the Overwatch strike team, Ana Amari had known all about the Shimada family. She has every reason to doubt the archer, but she is also one to believe strongly in second chances for those who truly seek it. Just as she had given the chance to Jesse McCree, the snotty nosed ex-Deadlock runt._

_“As I have said, it is ultimately your choice.” She dodged the question, making Jesse’s brow furrowed. The last thing he needs right now is an old woman’s riddle to add to his dilemma._

_“Life is full of choices, and with all the poor decisions you’ve seem to make, you’re bound to make some good ones, statistically speaking.”_

_Jesse rubbed at his metal arm, wincing slightly._

_“Fareeha seems inclined for you to-” Her eye narrowed as she tried to remember the exact phrase her daughter had used, ”-stop playing chicken.”_

_The cowboy snorted, as he recalled how skittish the woman had been back then._

_“That’s rich coming from her.” Jesse made a mental note to tease the little devil later. “Anything else ma’am?”_

_Ana hummed, as she pondered her next move, taking in Jesse’s posture, understanding that the man is already restless and was never one to sit idly by._

_“No, that’s all. You can go find the archer if you like. He should be in the training range right about now.”_

_Ana’s eye never left him, as he straightened up to leave, still unsure of his next destination. But he would figure it out on the go. The cowboy thanked the woman and turned to take his leave, until he heard Ana called out to him for one last time._

_“Oh, and Jesse-”_

_He corked an eyebrow, half looking back, to the still sitting woman._

_“Learn to live.”_

_She gave the man a cheeky wink. The short exchange made Jesse reevaluate their earlier conversation and wreck his brain trying to figure out the motives of Ana Amari._

_Next thing he knew, he’s clutching a couple bottle of booze from the kitchen and headed towards the training range. Only to find the archer in what seemed like a mini crisis._

_‘Gosh dang, I wonder how much further I can screw this one up.’_

_His precious bow on the floor, and Hanzo looking down at it, not noticing Jesse’s presence. It would be rude to not make himself known and just keep staring. Well, no time like the present, and the motherly voice of Ana Amari was echoing in his brain._

_‘You’re bound to make some right choices.’_

Nobody with a right mind would consider poking at a strung out dragon to be a good idea. But then again, no one has ever accused Jesse McCree of being sane.

 

_‘Here goes nothing.’_

_…_

_“You okay there, pardner?”_

_…_

_Jesse was floored the very instant Hanzo locked eyes with him. In the fraction of a second, he had caught the archer in his state of vulnerability. And also, for a split second, there was only one thought banging at the back of his consciousness, only to be held back by the sheer force of will to appear courteous._

‘I want to hold him.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'm really sure of how to write flashbacks, but I hope it turns out alright?)  
> Thank you so much for reading, and let me know what you think about it! Have a great day!


	7. In the Ruins of Illios

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My attempt at writing a mission chapter…I’m so sorry it took so long…

...

There are several things Jesse McCree has learned in the course of two months of knowing one Hanzo Shimada; he has a pair of unruly blue spirit dragons, he prefers his _sake_ brewed in the winter, he doesn’t like nicknames and he lugs around a shit load of emotional baggage everywhere he goes. The latter is a prickly subject the cowboy dares not breach, but he can’t help but feels the tugging of his heartstring every time he hears a self-deprecating murmur from the archer.

 

“Such beauty is wasted upon the soul of a killer.” He has overheard Hanzo, seated next to him on the transport while they descended towards the ruins of Illios.

 

_‘Dramatic little fucker, ain’t no doubt about that.’_

It makes Jesse feels strongly for him all the more, and with his cowboy getup complete with spurs and chaps, he certainly ain’t one to comment on it. This is the first time both men are placed on the same mission roster, and deep down, Jesse is rather excited to be able to see the archer in action.

 

He chews at the end of his cigarillo, unlit, as they are still inside the transport. Angela will not hesitate to throw him off the plane if he dares to think about lighting it, if her threat is true. It usually is. It doesn’t matter if the blond physician is not as physically threatening as her girlfriend, sometimes a set of scalpels and a very specific threat towards the nether region is far scarier than rocket launchers. Trust Fareeha to fall for such a scary woman.

 

_‘It’s for your own good, Jesse.’_ Fareeha had told him.

Oh how tempting it was to throw that sentence in a mocking high-pitched voice back at Fareeha. It is petulant, he knows, and that’s the point. Jesse needs someone to vent and banter with now that Genji is _, well_ –doing his own weird moody Genji thing. Even Reinhardt thinks that the younger Shimada’s display of chopping the team’s breakfast banana with his sword is a tad bit over the top. To make it worse, Ana pretended not to notice when Jesse tried to send distress signals at her. She has been very good at doing that lately.

 

_‘Oh, Come on! I thought you were rooting for me?’_

The aircraft descended upon a beautiful field of ancient ruins. It is a bright sunny day, perfect for a vacation. They are not here to enjoy the sights, they’re here to protect it.

 

“Agents, get in position. We need to be ready to strike as soon as we detect movements from Talon.”

 

Morrison has insisted for them to use the call sign _Soldier: 76_ on missions to remain detached and professional, especially when Talon is involved. Though whether the team obeys or not, it is a whole other matter. All the old Overwatch agents have chosen to ignore his request and straight up calls him ‘Jack’. The only one who actually calls him by his call sign is Hanzo. Jesse is sure that little gesture earns him a place in Jack’s good list. The old soldier is surprisingly neutral towards the older Shimada given his knowledge of the Genji incident.

 

McCree lit up his cigar and his fingers keep fidgeting near the holster of his gun. He has been having a bad feeling about this mission since they were briefed about it. Morrison was the one who brought up the supposed leak from Talon’s agenda, and it wasn’t all that convincing when he glances off the question regarding his informant. The man has been extremely secretive, and to be completely honest with himself, Jesse would not have trusted him if it wasn’t for Ana vouching for the ex-Strike Commander. No, scratch that –to be completely, _completely_ honest, he still doesn’t.

 

…

 

_“…Talon is gunning to reactivate the God AI, code:_ Apollo _located in the ruins of Illios. Our objective is to stop them.”_

_“How do you know they’ll attack on that day? Or are we just doing recon and stake-outs for God knows how long?” It probably wasn’t a very good idea on Jesse’s part to challenge the soldier, but jumping into a mission with so little information does not sit right with him._

_“I have my sources. You just gotta trust me on this.”_

_“Who is your source?” The cowboy eyed the veteran suspiciously._

_The man looked reluctant, and grumbled through gritted teeth._

_“I cannot say.”_

_“Then, no can do Jack. You’re risking the lives of the team here. We can’t just jump in there knowing scrap!”_

_“I gave you all the information you need for the mission. If you’re so opposed to this mission. I’d be glad to do it myself.”_

_“You know this is not how we’re doing things now, Commander Morrison.”_

_“I am no longer the commander, Winston.”_

_“Darn right, you ain’t! So quit acting like one all the time.”_

_“McCree.” Ana stared at him pointedly. A warning. Usually followed immediately by a flick of her arm and a sleep dart to the face._

_“I’ve followed orders blindly all my life, and look where that got me. Or did you forget about Blackwatch?”_

_“Jesse!” Ana hissed at him._

_Silence fell on the briefing room, and the atmosphere hung thick heavy. The cowboy and the soldier were locked in a staring contest. The soldier’s face, unreadable beneath his visor. The stillness stretches, fueling the tension of those who were present. Everyone held their breaths as the digital clock on the far side of the room blinked away, the only indication that time has passed at all. No one dared to utter a word, trying to maneuver around the two ticking bombs. No one that is, until Hanzo Shimada –who has been so silent he almost melted into the shadows, ignored both men on the verge of exploding._

_“All this arguing is futile. When do we start?”_

…

 

And that was how Jesse ended up volunteering for the mission to Illios, which he was opposed to at the beginning. There’s no way he’s letting Hanzo go with the man he trusted the least in the whole newly reformed Overwatch. Right, _Overwatch –_ this is no longer Blackwatch. New commander, new protocols, new members, and new ways to fuck the world up. Peachy.

 

_“Just follow the orders given to you, pendejo.”_

_“Stop questioning shit.”_

_“This is above your pay grade.”_

_“It’s my job to worry about stuff, mijo.”_

“Fuck.”

 

Repress, breathe, focus.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Hanzo is perched on the roof just above the cowboy, his voice guarded. The dragon fixes his eyes to the far plane of the ruins, scanning for hostiles.

 

“No worries, Darlin’. Jus’ a tad antsy is all.”

 

It was the rare occasion that Hanzo let the pet name slides. It means that he is more nervous than he lets out to be.

 

“Put out your vile cigar, you’re giving away your position.”

 

“Let them come, and that is a big _if_ they’re even here.”

 

A single glance, earns him a smirk from the archer. A not so much rarity for McCree these days, if he knows when to look.

 

“Foolish cowboy.”

 

“Don’t I know it.”

 

It wasn’t until the second hour of their stake out when Hanzo finally spots several potential enemy goons ducking through the alleys of the town below the ruins.

 

“Hostiles incoming, they’re starting to move.”

 

The comm channel crackles to life with Hanzo’s voice, shortly followed by the other agents reporting in.

 

McCree took one last draw of his cigar and put it out, much to Hanzo’s satisfaction. It’s time to get serious.

 

…

 

It was all going too fast. The intel from Jack has been spot on about Talon wanting to take over the currently dormant God AI in the ruins of Illios. And they want it bad. Pity, the mysterious source did not mention that Talon is bringing in a small army to excavate _–No, more like, colonize_ the historic spot. McCree makes a mental note to thank Winston’s insistence on bringing a full team of six to every mission. Boy, he doesn’t even want to imagine what would happen if they had let Morrison walk in on this solo. The tactical commander side of the soldier would’ve waited and call for backup. Though assessing recent event with Los Muertos in Dorado, the man is going in guns a blazing. Some people deal with midlife crisis by buying shiny new car. Well Jack got a shiny new visor, and becomes a vigilante.

 

Shots rang through the formerly peaceful ruins.

 

Streams of seemingly endless soldiers pour into the fray.

 

“Fuck, where does Talon find all these people?”

 

Eyes on target, finger on the trigger, aim and squeeze.

 

“They are starting to strain my defense matrix!”

 

“Hang on, sound barrier coming in hot!”

 

One is behind the wall, three coming from the right hand side.

 

“Don’t overextend. Call out your position when you’re in need of medical assistance!”

 

“Mercy, boost on me. My tactical visor is ready for deployment.”

_BANG!_

 

Another one down.

 

“Four hostiles incoming, left flank!”

 

Brown eyes lock onto the hidden figures behind the cluster of pillars. Man, those sonic arrows tech is a thing of beauty.

 

The mission went relatively smooth. While Talon has the advantage in manpower, Overwatch combats them with the skills of their agents. A team of elites working together like well-oiled machine. Despite all that, a dark cloud still hangs over McCree. There is something not quite right.

 

All they have seen so far are merely the low ranked Talon soldiers. The sheer number is overwhelming, but McCree can’t help but think if Talons are actually trying? Wave after wave, the agents found themselves swarmed by the Talon soldiers. They feel no joy in mowing down humans and omnics, even if they aim to immobilize and not kill. It is all mindless violence and it leaves a foul taste with every bullets fired.

 

“Their numbers are waning, lets go on the offensive.”

 

McCree reloads as he mutters a confirmation to Morrison, followed by the rest of the agents. He rounds the corner and throws the last of his flash bangs. _Crap,_ his ammo supply is thinning. They need to wrap this up and get out of here fast. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could spot Hanzo finally down from his sniper perch, and even his quiver is looking empty with only a few arrows left.

 

“Hanzo, look out!”

 

McCree watches as the archer turns and flips the assailant off his back and promptly delivers a knock out blow. Hanzo locks eyes with him, and gives the gunslinger a grateful nod.

 

A new order to retreat towards the shuttle sounds beautiful ringing through his earpiece. It seems that even the Talon goons realize that their mission is not going to end well without at least one of their elites. But that does not dampen their tenacity in surging forward. Talon does have a knack on blackmailing their employee as an incentive to complete their mission, McCree almost feels bad for them. _Almost_. As he fires his bullets to the soldiers’ legs, he mentally counts his diminishing supply of ammo. It is a blessing and a curse that he is now in Overwatch instead of Blackwatch. There would’ve been no mercy in the Blackwatch playbook. Immobilize instead of disposing enemy for good. Reyes would’ve laughed at the naivety of it all.

 

_“This is war, cabrón. Someone gotta do the dirty work.”_

“This is not Blackwatch.” McCree tries to anchor himself to the task at hand.

 

_‘That’s right, mijo. No use thinking about the past.’_

 

Shoot, reload, and get the hell outta this dump.

 

A few clips left on his belt. This is not gonna be enough. Behind him, Hanzo has resorted to using hand-to-hand combat, reserving his few arrows for emergency uses. McCree marvels at the way the archer fights. After years of conditioning and assassin trainings, the fluidity of Hanzo’s moves is simply impeccable.

 

McCree and Hanzo lock eyes and a flash of alarm crosses the archer’s façade. Wait. _What–_

A Talon goon drops down from one of the ruins. A well places elbow to the chest and the momentum from the drop knocks the gunslinger on his back, and the air from his lungs. Purely on his instinct for survival, McCree blindly unloaded all six-shots into the assailant. The man crumbles. One down. It was a waste of McCree’s resources, and stalls the cowboy enough as he notices another wave of Talon soldiers. He needs to reload fast, and _fuck_ his whole body hurts, might’ve broken a rib or two. Hanzo is behind him, still but there is no way he has enough arrows left to fight the incoming surge. Maybe Hanzo still has one of those fancy scatter arrows. That could work.

 

McCree turned, and sees, for a fraction of a second; hesitation.

 

Hanzo has his bow drawn, with a basic arrow.

 

He shouts something in Japanese, but McCree doesn’t understand.

 

_What._

A blinding blue energy rises and heat engulfs the pathway, illuminating the white stones of the ruin.

 

It was as if McCree was transported to a different realm. The blinding light, the deafening roar, and the powerful energy that grounds him. McCree felt his knees shake, as two entities twisting and turning gracefully, as if dancing in the air, tears through the enemy.

 

Dragons.

 

_No fucking way._

He has seen Genji’s dragon, but the two that Hanzo just summoned are different. Those are way more _massive_. Beautiful, regal, powerful spirits, and to think that they were just the size of a ferret the last time-

 

“McCree? Can you hear me?”

 

“Huh?”

 

McCree jolts upright, and immediately regrets it as pain flares from his sides. He looks around and notices that he was already on board of the carrier.

 

“Did you remember what happened?” Lucio asks as he turns up his healing music. The soothing sound eases his throbbing headache.

 

“What-”

 

“You passed out. Agent Hanzo brought you back.” Morrison is seated on the couch, being treated by Angela. He looks a bit banged up, but he’ll live.

 

“I’ll be with you in just a minute.” Angela shoots McCree an apologetic look, while she continues tending to the veteran’s injury.

 

“Go to him, I’m fine.”

 

“Mein Gott! Jack, you’re not as young as you used to be. Shut up or I’ll gag you with a biotic canister!”

 

McCree looks around, and see no sign of Hanzo. They’re already up in the air, he must be somewhere on the ship.

 

“Where’s Hanzo?”

 

“Oh, he’s resting in the cockpit. He looks dead tired when he dragged you back, but he insisted that he’s fine.” Lucio shrugs.

 

“What, Angie just lets him go?”

 

“Oh, you missed the stare down of the century, Eastwood.”

 

Angela muttered some curses under her breath, obviously reminded of the earlier event. McCree chuckles at that. Well, if they still have the energy for that, then there’s nothing to worry about. They’ll have plenty of time to talk after they got back to Gibraltar.

 

_Right._

_Gibraltar._

 

Winston would want a full report from this sham of a mission.

 

Sure, Talon was there, but if he knew the Blackwatch playbook, then those were just the suicide squad trying to avert their attention from something big. McCree hopes he’s wrong.

…

 

The night has already fallen when they finally land in Gibraltar. Winston greets them with a neutral expression, as the strike team descends from the aircraft, slightly banged up but mostly fine. McCree gives Hanzo a nod as they disembark, silently thanking him. This is no place to talk, there’s still the debrief and Hanzo looks dead tired right now. Even from a quick glance, it was telling that calling upon the dragons has left Hanzo utterly drained. McCree can wait to properly show the archer his gratitude.

 

Once they get the reports done, maybe he should bring out some of his liquor stashed for an occasion. God knows he needs something strong to wash out the foul taste the mission left in his mouth.

 

Winston leads the team into the briefing room and Morrison who headed the operation, began to chronologically gives out a full recounting from their mission with such efficiency, it’s like he never left Overwatch to begin with. The rest of the team is present to confirm and back his report, and occasionally chimed in what happened on their side of the fight.

 

“Technically speaking, our mission was a success.” Morrison announced in the meeting room.

 

McCree sends him a dirty look. The cowboy barely has the energy to pick a fight with the soldier.

 

“We set out to stop Talon from getting their hands on the God AI program and we did just that.” The old soldier continues on.

 

_Okay, that’s it._

 

“And you still ain’t gonna tell us who your informant is?”

 

“That is beside the point.”

 

“And you don’t feel like there is anything weird going on? Anything at all? If I don’t know any better, I’d say your age finally caught up with you.”

 

“Jesse!” Angela smacks his arm, in an attempt to shush him.

 

“Nah. None of this is right.”

 

Jack Morrison stares on, whatever expression he is making, is conveniently covered by his visor. He doesn’t try to argue his case with the gunslinger.

 

“The mission is complete. That’s what matters. Dismissed.”

 

McCree is incredulous by how detached the soldier is. They just mowed down an entire army backed by a terrorist organization, and he just acts as if it’s no big deal. He looks around, and is met by confused looks from his teammates. There is definitely something going on, and Morrison is keeping it to himself.

 

One by one, the Agents relents to their fatigue and starts to trickle out of the room, back to their own quarters. Out of the corner of his eyes, McCree sees Hanzo about to do the same, and hasten his pace to walk with him

 

“Hey, you wanna-”

 

“I’m sorry. But, can it wait till morning?”

 

The archer fixes him with a very tired gaze, and McCree felt his heart squeeze uncomfortably.

 

“Oh, you’re not gonna get any dinner?”

 

“I’m far too tired to work an appetite right now.”

 

“Naw, that ain’t right. Ya gotta eat to replenish the energy you burned today.” McCree scratches his beard, damn he is in dire need of a trim. “Tell ya what, you go back to yer room and freshened up a bit, and I’ll bring ya some of whatever Reinhardt cooked up for dinner?”

 

“I-” Hanzo starts, but McCree ain’t having none of it, he started sprinting towards the kitchen, mockingly shouting, “Can’t hear ya from here.”

 

Hanzo stares as the cowboy darts into the kitchen area, dumbfounded by McCree’s childlike behavior. The gunslinger is a constant puzzle to him. The man is many things, and while some of his choices are questionable at best –Hanzo still can’t wrap his head around that ridiculous belt buckle –McCree has a good and caring heart. What has he done to deserve such a friend?

 

_“Maybe I don’t.”_

_“No brother, you also deserve good things in life. Remember that.”_

Hanzo can’t deny that he enjoys spending time with the resident cowboy, but he still has a long way to go with forgiving himself. It is not an easy journey, but he is trying for his brother’s sake, for himself, and for the people who accepted him and gave him a home. Just where does the oddity named Jesse McCree fits into all of these? It is not a question he is ready to answer. Yet.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite happy about this chapter, but it is needed to move things along. Jesse butts head with Soldier:76, finally sees the dragons in full force, and he's gonna have a talk with Hanzo in the next chapter! Hope you like it, and let me know in the comments! Have a good day!


End file.
